Wishing

Hating how easy it is for my ptsd to trigger.  My guy accidentally triggered it the first time. He felt bad about it. But I wish I didn't have it. Wish I could just be normal. All it was was him hitting his steering wheel. And I was gone. Guess the good thing is it didn't last as long as normal.

Ptsd for more then one reason

Realizing that you have ptsd for more then just what your used to is a new experience for me. Having it more intense because of being recent. Trying to enjoy life then getting pulled back into the hell you just crawled out of. Guess it shows how's much it infecting me. And how much sooner I needed to get out. I know most of my problems is because of basically losing a kid in the process of all this. And not what I went through. But a house should never become a cage. And having to stop hiding from it and face the house. The memories. You have to be strong enough to do it on your own.